Looking Forward to the Year

Hello Friends,

Happy New Year to you all! I hope the first week of the new year is going well for you. Our week has been good, and Monday marked the end of Winter Break and the girls’ return to school. Overall, the girls are in good spirits, our house is happy.

My ideas for the new year are coming together, bits and pieces linking up to form a blog plan for 2019. I made mention of some of this before, but bear with me while I share a bit:

This school year marked a significant shift in my detour. Being the “at-home” parent is different with both of the girls at school during the day. It’s time for me to start talking about this shift and using this blog to process the changes. Plus, there are future plans to create.

I have been working on various projects throughout the years, like the playhouse. My interest in DIY projects has grown along with my skills. It only takes a few minutes online to see that many others share an interest in projects. I want to show more of these projects and grow this part of the conversation.

I want to continue to share and deepen my commitment to this blog and your readership. December brought some “circle of life” notices to me and our family. Thankfully, birth announcements were part of the news (hence the “circle”). As I found myself thinking over the friends who will be fathers this year, and their coming children, I thought about all the stuff I wanted to share. Advice? Six years ago I would not have dared to say that. Today, more than ever, I feel that I want to share the experiences I’ve collected, the different gear I’ve tried, the various classes and activities. And share the learning curve that I still encounter.

And video content. I’ve mentioned it before, but I want to add video content. The girls provide too much fodder, historically and currently, for me to capture it all in writing alone. If you guys like the pictures of the girls, you will roll with videos of their antics.

I thanked you all at the end of last year, but really, I can’t say it enough times. At least when I write out “Thank you”, you can sit with it on the screen in front of you and let it sink in. I write this blog for my family and my role in it. All of you, my readership, play a part in shaping that role. I am inspired by your stories, motivated by your interest, challenged by your feedback. Thank you for stopping by, and I look forward to seeing you on the detour throughout 2019.

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2018 Wrap-Up

Hello Friends,

So we’re all wrapping up another year. In a few short hours the celebrations will ensue and we’ll usher in 2019. Before all that, I want to take a minute for some well-wishing.

To the D³ readership, I send out a sincere thanks. Your support means so much to me. Keep the comments coming, and tell all your friends to subscribe! Seriously though, without you all I would just be talking to myself. I’ll continue blogging another year, and am planning to add video content as well. You should see us pop up on some of the other socials too. And I know, more pictures of the girls!

To my family, you were the first supporters and continue to be the closest to our family unit. I respect your input and appreciate you sharing your own family stories, both the struggles and triumphs. Thank you for all you do.

Let’s welcome 2019. I’m hopeful that we’ll figure out how to be kinder, smarter people. At least, that’s where I’ll be aiming. Be safe tonight, friends. Enjoy your celebrations and make it home to your loved ones safely. We’ll see you out there!

Gutcheck 10/2/18

Hello Friends,

Like many of you, and most of the country, I have been chomping on the Supreme Court Nomination hearings and subsequent testimonies for the past couple of weeks. I use the vague term “chomping” because some people are picking apart every detail while others are collecting a quick summary from a passing news feed. All over the spectrum. I don’t want to launch into anything political right now, but I will say that when I listened to Dr. Ford’s testimony in light of my experiences growing up in the Chicago Suburbs, I felt an awful familiarity with the scenario she described. Local pools, summer hang outs, parties, and entitled boys – yep, we had those here too. And looking at my girls now makes me feel that one could make any defensive claims one wants but I probably won’t lend a sympathetic ear when it comes to sexual harassment and assault. We’re in an ugly, but very necessary moment right now, friends. And with all this in my mind, I read this op-ed by Monica Hesse from The Washington Post:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/newsfeature/dear-dads-your-daughters-told-me-about-their-assaults-this-is-why-they-never-told-you/ar-BBNPCiK?li=BBnb7Kz

Titled Dear dads: Your daughters told me about their assaults. This is why they never told you, this article is a gut check, a kick in the shin, a rough insight into yet another reality about why sexual harassment and assault are kept secret. And it’s written for us Dads. Now the article is well-written, not overly politicized and even somewhat cathartic, but it is still tough to read. But in my opinion, men and women alike should read it.

The long and short of it: daughters don’t want to disappoint their fathers.

The details unfold around that idea. What struck me is that now is the time for me to show my girls how I can rationally listen to their life stories; good, bad and ugly. Show them while they are young and hopefully we develop some space to talk about the hard life issues. We may be in an ugly moment, but my hope is that Dads are paying attention and thinking “caterpillar stage”, meaning work and live through the ugly in order to make something else. Something that flies higher, goes farther, does better. And I focus on men’s roles here because we are doing the majority of the harassing and assaulting. Blame socialization, evolution, television and popular media, whatever, but that’s the truth. Then move past blame and let’s start figuring this ugly sh*t out.

The politics of this whole nomination is making me angry. Honestly, the past three nominations have frustrated me, made me upset with the people working in our government system. So I guess, like with most things, this change will have to start at home. Let’s start with us, Dads. And Uncles. And Grandfathers. And Brothers. And Cousins. Hell, and neighbors and teachers and every other role where men influence boys and play a part in shaping the norms and mores of society. And in roles where men influence girls. And let’s open up to our female counterparts. Moms, Aunts, Sisters, Grandmothers, teachers, fabricators, engineers. Open an honest conversation, or maybe even shut up and listen. I know this is a bit of a rant, and I’m not typing here because I think I have some answer. But I know I’m not alone in looking for one.

Happy Pride!

Hello Friends,

Just sending good wishes out to all of our LGBTQ friends and family out there for a safe and happy pride celebration! It is 80º and sunny here in Chicago, with a breeze to keep it cool, so the day is perfect for the parade.

It is still tricky with the girls in crowds, so we’re not joining the fun this year. They still identify as “boys have yucky germs and kissing is gross” (unless its from Mommy), so I don’t know how much they will appreciate the love and goodwill of the Pride Parade. But Mommy and I are thinking of all our loved ones who can gather and celebrate their love under today’s blue skies.

Have a good day, friends! We’ll see you around the detour.