13 August 2012 – How Did I Get Here?

Standing at the changing table at 5:30 AM, I haven’t had any coffee, sleep is still heavy in my head and Sweetie has pooped everywhere.  And I ask myself, “How did I get here?”

It is not hard to trace my literal path here.  It starts at Loyola University, where my wife and I met.  There I chose to major in Theology, thinking it would set me apart from other pre-med students.  Then I chose future plans that did not focus my med-school bid like it was my world.  After college were my years in social services.  There I chose to work with Chicago’s homeless, mentally ill citizens.  Then I got distracted.

In the midst of a budding career as an Outreach Worker I decided to make a switch to the automotive industry.  I chose to move to a town in Wyoming that was smaller than the neighborhood where I lived, just to learn the basics quickly.  I chose to work with my hands, despite the dust and the noise and the chemicals…and the bachelor’s degree.  I chose to move to Denver, Colorado, to be closer to family and to live again in an urban setting.  After a few years I realized that my future family would only grow in one city, and I chose to move back to the Midwest.

Coming back to Chicago I chose collision repair work over custom work, thinking it was more stable.  I chose to purchase a house with Wife (then girlfriend), a 100-year-old bungalow.  In the front room of our house I chose to propose to the woman I had dated for nine years.  At work I chose to move up the ranks, looking for compensation for my mind’s work as well as my hands’ work.  And at home we chose to grow our family.

Looking back I see the important theme: I chose.  For better or for worse my path is paved with my decisions.  Granted, I did not choose to clean dirty diapers or spend my days preparing baby food.  But that’s just a small part of this adventure.  I did not choose to leave my job during shaky economic times, but rather chose self-preservation and a sabbatical.  I did not choose to be a house husband…until I did.

We all know the lessons from life are cumulative and help us with the next adventure.  I feel bolstered by my previous decisions and experiences.  And I feel prepared by the challenges that I have seen.  I have chosen to be a stay-at-home Dad and make this experience great for myself and Sweetie.

So after a deep, head-clearing breath, I quietly hummed The Talking Heads to myself.  I cleaned up Sweetie’s poop diaper, acknowledging that it wasn’t the first and won’t be the last.  I got her dressed for the day, and set about finding a cup of coffee.

One thought on “13 August 2012 – How Did I Get Here?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s