There are many jokes about babies peeing freely when they are naked on the changing table. Sitcoms use this joke, most parents experience it and all share a laugh. Few people talk about the other risk when babies are lying without their diaper.
Because of medicine and nature and all sorts of other birth-related happenings, Sweetie was slow to poop. She was fine at the hospital but waited 6 days at home before she had a bowel movement. Much to our relief, everything eventually came out just fine. (So much so that we embraced the term “poop-splosion”.) We appreciated and welcomed those early movements as a sign of our daughter’s health.
Wife had told me about Sweetie having her movements on the changing table, sans diaper. I had not witnessed the event, so I jokingly referred to it as “Free Range Poop” and left it to myth. One quiet night, much to Wife’s delight, Sweetie showed me what FRP was all about. My horror at this feat of nature could not be properly captured with such a benign title, so I coined the more specific “Poop Fountain”.
So let me set a few things straight. I did not go running and screaming from the Poop Fountain, but I did express my severe disturbance by it. And yes, the name gives as much detail about this occurrence as I care to describe. Wife thinks it is hilarious, as does Sweetie. All I know is that I still have to clean it up. The real kicker is that no matter how ill I find the PF, it is part of our new life.